Till death do us part

I had no idea that death was such a booming business.

Last week saw the return of the dreaded suit and tie as I, once again, assumed the mantle of Mr Responsible. At least, there was a change of medium. On this occasion, mercifully, I was not the solicitor in private practice that has filled my last dozen years or so. This time I was Deputy Coroner for Cornwall.

Which raises a question: what is it that a coroner does? The common public perception is that he deals with inquests but that is only a small part of his duties - about 10% on average. The coroner is the person to whom a death must be reported if somone has died suddenly, unexpectedly, from non-natural causes or violently. Very often, this will be an elderly person who has died in hospital after a last procedure, a hip operation to repair a fractured neck of femur following a fall being typical. It also includes deaths in road traffic collisions (RTC), suicides, deaths in police custody and, very occasionally, murders.

The figures are startling. Last week I had nearly 60 deaths reported to me. Bear in mind that over half of all deaths will be signed off by doctors without reference to the coroner and you will see that it is no exaggeration to say that death is a booming business.

The first decision the coroner will have to make is whether the death has occured in circumstances which make a post mortem (pm) report necessary. This can be a troubling decision to have to make. No one wants to inflict a pointless procedure on someone who has suffered enough but against that has to be set the fact that another Dr Shipman could be out there, even now, doing his worst. Between 50 - 75% of reported deaths need a pm.

When the report comes to hand, the pathologist will give his professional opinion on whether the death was natural, unnatural or undetermined. Any finding other than natural is likely to require an inquest. Where samples are sent off for histology or toxicology reports, it may well be necessary to open an inquest and adjourn it immediately, in order to allow the family to dispose of the body. In Cornwall, there are about 250 inquests per year.

So what happened in my first week? Two murders - one involving a Cornishman believed to have been slain by pirates in Senegal, the second, a set of circumstances I am not able to relate. A request from the estranged wife of a deceased for a blood sample to be taken from his body to prove a son (aged 30) the deceased knew nothing about is his heir. The death of a youth in his thirties for no discernible reason. I also spent most of Friday reviewing the papers for a matter that is likely to be my first inquest, an RTC where a 17 year old youth - the possessor of a driving licence for less than six months - killed the wife of the other driver to whom she had been married for more than 50 years and her sister.

Work as a coroner is not for the faint-hearted.

The End of the World is Nigh - Part 1

Oh dear. Just signed up for a year's course in professional writing and what happens? The very first guest speaker prophecies the death of the industrial publishing world and the novel. Bummer. Never can find a conspiracy theorist when you need one.

In fairness, Brian Perman is supremely well qualified to make the prediction. Oh and yes, he does not say that no one will ever read a written word ever again. To paraphrase Mr Spock, his view is: "There will be life Jim, just not as we know it."

Perman is also far from the first or only prophet of doom. The IT revolution cometh and has been for quite some time. Anyone with even half an eye on the clouds on the horizon has seen the storm brewing.

Two factors collude to preserve the vested interests of the current giants in the publishing world; production and distribution. In other words, it costs a small fortune to put a book together for sale and a large one to pay for physically delivering it to the bookshelf.

The continuing text onslaught will do away with the need for both. Simply press a button and a click in the appropriate slot of the universal library will send the requested document, book, paper, folio, manuscript etc. winging electronically down the broadband highway to your desk, office, TV, bed-side etc.

Needless to say, there's plenty to play for and the future is far from cast. For the budding student, the message has to be remember your SWOT analysis. For every threat there is an opportunity. The future could be bright; the future could be yours.

"You talking to me?"

The Maritime Museum, Falmouth on 13 October. Venue for a gathering of like-minded souls to discuss writing for business.

Fair to say, it's not an issue that has taxed me overly in years past but I quickly realize that it should have done. Every emanation from your office says something about you. From the message jotted on to the yellow post-it note, to the email inadvertently sent to everyone in your address box, to the dreaded annual report. Every word bears your fingerprints, says something about what you are like
.
The first speaker, Neil Taylor, stresses two subjects which he considers to be key; clarity and consistency. In a series of slides he shows what works, and rather more amusingly, what does not.

By coincedence, that same evening, as I toil over another assignment, I receive an email from a friend who needs to remain nameless. He sends me a photo of a sign taken at his local hospital which, in eye-watering fashion, makes the very same point. The sign reads:

Family Planning Clinic
Use rear entrance

Where are all the heroes?

Why is it not enough these days simply to celebrate the achievements of our heroes? Why is our enjoyment derived more from watching a fall from grace than remembering the accomplishment which first caused the impression on our consciousness?

Think George Best and what comes to mind? A diminutive figure skipping lightly over a scything tackle before stroking the ball in to the back of the net, or a drunken wretch swearing on a live television broadcast? How do we recall JFK? As the man who inspired a nation to put a man on the moon, or as a serial philanderer who neglected his duties as a husband?

We require our heroes to be beyond reproach when, very often, it is the same character trait which at once provides the genius and the irredeemable flaw. If it is perfection we seek then look to God; heroes are human with all the faults and weaknesses that brings.

I try to bear this in mind as I make my way to see Carlos Burle at Woodlane Bar on 12 October. I love sport and unsurprisingly, a number of my heroes are sportsmen. For a long time my sport of preference has been surfing. Burle is one of the pre-eminent big wave riders in the world, a man who has towed in to impossible behemoths at Jaws and Teahupoo; surf breaks the mere mention of which induce a shiver of fear down the spine of the average wave-rider. His reputation was sealed when he won an invitational contest at Todos Santos by paddling in to and riding down the face of a 70' monster. At the time it was the biggest wave ever ridden.

Perhaps it is the cynicism of the age but, as I wait to interview him, I wonder if it is even appropriate to describe what he does as heroic. If he drowned would it not simply be a terrible waste of a human life? Is he simply indulging in some ego-fuelled quest for fame and fortune?

One of the first questions he faces is predictable; how did he become a big wave surfer? Burle pauses, gathering the words. I gain the impression he is trying to be honest, not to stoke the flames of some media-fired image. "When I started, my family was against it. Surfing was linked to drugs and it was a big decision for me to keep going. But I knew I was meant to surf. I felt it."

In his seminal text on mythology and heroes, Joseph Campbell (The Hero With A Thousand Faces) suggests every hero departs on his travels having heard a "Call to Adventure." Is this what Burle is relating?

Campbell explains that every hero has to cross a "Threshold of Adventure." This is the deliberate decision to press on with a particular quest in the face of warnings not to do so. Often, the hero meets a helper who facilitates the process. Burle goes on: "I had to overcome a lot of emotions and obstacles. My father, who thought very logically, was against it. My mother gave me the inspiration. She is a lot more impulsive, making decisions based on how she feels." We have strayed in to dangerous territory here for this conjures up Freud's Oedipus complex. I choose to see Burle's mother as the helper identified by Campbell. I do not have it in me to ask Burle whether he has ever fantasised about marrying his mother.

I ask Burle if he fears dying when he paddles out in to the line-up. "I am not afraid to die but I do not want to suffer. When I have a bad wipe-out I know that I am in God's hands."

This seems consistent with what Campbell has to say: "Needless to say, the hero would be no hero if death held for him any terror; the first condition is reconciliation with the grave."

But why does he do it? Burle has an 8 year old daughter. What makes him continue to put himself in harm's way? "My main dream when I started was not to become a surfer. It was quality of life. As I kept pushing my limits I gained respect. I found I was better able to interact with society. Now, I want to return to people what surfing has given to me."

Burle, unwittingly perhaps, has summarized the journey that Campbell describes the hero as having to undergo. Once he heeds the call to adventure and departs, the hero is tested and undergoes a process of self-revelation. If he wins through, often, the hero returns, wiser and keen to impart the knowledge he has won for the benefit of all.

I find myself willing to set my cynicism to one side. For all the obvious concerns I have ( not least as a new father) about the merits of risking one's life when there is an 8 year daughter to raise, I do find Burle's chosen path heroic. He is genuine and humble during the course of our interview, acknowledging the risks and that people will disagree with the life he has chosen to lead. Yet he presses ahead. Deliberately, and having calculated that it is the best way he can improve both his and his family's lot, he paddles in to the dragon's lair. He trusts that his hard-earned experience and God's grace will see him through.

I only hope that remains the case.

Morning all

Hi. First offering to the brave new world.